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Funerals.

CREATING A BEAUTIFUL SPACE TO BOTH MOURN AND CELEBRATE.
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Funerals. The ultimate space where no one wants to be there, but everyone will move mountains to be.  Grief is raw, and as a result these gatherings have a true tenderness to them. 

 

The event production piece and the flowers are in and of themselves irrelevant in the deep sadness of gathering together to grieve and mourn.  But I think there is something poignant in creating a beautiful space that gets the balance right between honouring the person who has died, celebrating their life, and being sensitive to giving space for personal as well as more communal grief. The main focus of this will be in the ceremony, but I think it's important that the wake reflects this too.

I seek to take the heavy lifting of the gathering from you helping to sort the moving pieces; the event production, the setup of the space, any food and drink, any creative pieces. The goal is for you to not have to worry about any of the logistics, and feel fully present.  

It is my vision to create a gathering that reflects the individual whose funeral it is. One that is beautiful and poignant - and homemade and hosted. Homemade scones, flowers on the tables,  cocktail sausages fresh from the oven served from hollowed out bread. A variety of drinks for guests to choose from. For flowers, I have used silk flowers in the arrangements (that belonged to whose funeral it was), and also taken the flowers from the coffin arrangement to make into bouquets for the guests to take home with them. 

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wrote this reflection following my most recent involvement in creating a wake, and I felt it helpful to articulate my vision here:  

Rewind a few years ago, and I found myself chatting with one of my brothers about wanting to get into funerals.  He suggested I try do work experience with an Undertaker.  I also chatted with Granny about it, and she sweetly said it was a logistical nightmare and much better to stick with weddings where RSVPs are a lot clearer and the lead time a lot longer from a planning perspective.

I ignored both of them.  Sorry.

On Saturday I worked with an incredible family, to organise my fourth memorial service wake for their dearest son and brother who died far too young and far too tragically.

These gatherings are a privilege to be involved with.  And I’m so grateful to the families who have entrusted me with such raw events.

It’s really bizarre organising an event that no one wants to happen.  On the one hand nothing matters because the grief is so awful and the pain so heavy, that decisions about food and flowers pale into insignificance.  But on the other hand the details so matter.  And it’s this tension that I find it a privilege to carry the load for.

These events don’t have the glamour and the grammable vibes.  But funerals are the ultimate event we will all for sure have one day. Something we try and shy away from.

I find it a gift being able to play a part in making one of the hardest days that bit more beautiful and logistically easier for the family and friends.

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